Obsession

Two things.

First. Things are getting back on track with Jay and me. The stuff going on with my grandpa, CASB, and work does not help with my mood or state of mind, but things are coming along with us.

Second. I am starting to get obsessive. This is what tends to happen whenever I revamp my weight loss - typical "too much of a good thing syndrome". For the past 7 weeks, my working out, my eating healthy, etc have been good. I am noticing increased muscle tone, weight loss, and inch loss. But I arrived, as I have in the past, a point of where things going well are not good enough. I want to reach the end now. I want to achieve a new weight loss low. For example, although I am pleased to be 193.8 lbs, as of Tuesday, I am still slightly frustrated that I am heavier that my recent lowest of 182.2 as of Dec 1, 2009. I use the mantra "one foot in front of the other" to remind myself that this is a process. It will take another few weeks before I got from "obese" to "overweight" and another few months before I go from "overweight" to "normal weight". Intellectually I understand, but there is a part of me that awakens from time to time that is obsessive and wants to go from here to there overnight.

Recently when this happens, I intentional take a rest day, opposed to amping up my workouts, to remind myself to slow down.

I like the effects that intermittent fasting (IF) is having. I am enjoying my morning workouts. I am actually enjoying the process this time around, things seem right. I just need to remember to be patient. Its the bigger picture. I don't need to lost 2-4 lbs a week. This is a lifestyle change.

I need to shift from an obsessive state of mind to a lifestyle state of mind.