I was stuck in class all weekend. So much fun.
I am pursuing my CA (Chartered Accounting Designation). In Western Canada, you have to complete five 8 week modules, and one 2 week module before you are eligible to write the 3 day exam. So you work full-time and take self-directed classes with assignments due on a weekly basis.
Sounds like fun eh? And each module has a weekend when you are doing in class learning - Face to Face. And that is what I did this weekend.
Don't worry, I did not let that get in the way of my workouts. I got up even earlier in order to go to the gym Friday and Saturday (Sunday is my rest days). I am proud of myself!
And today I find out about my raise. Found about my promotion a few months back, but as my new raise is effective this Friday, I find out! The first year accountants are ranked and there raises are consistent across the four levels of ranking. So there is not much variation the 30 of us.
Only two hours to go!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Obsession
Two things.
First. Things are getting back on track with Jay and me. The stuff going on with my grandpa, CASB, and work does not help with my mood or state of mind, but things are coming along with us.
Second. I am starting to get obsessive. This is what tends to happen whenever I revamp my weight loss - typical "too much of a good thing syndrome". For the past 7 weeks, my working out, my eating healthy, etc have been good. I am noticing increased muscle tone, weight loss, and inch loss. But I arrived, as I have in the past, a point of where things going well are not good enough. I want to reach the end now. I want to achieve a new weight loss low. For example, although I am pleased to be 193.8 lbs, as of Tuesday, I am still slightly frustrated that I am heavier that my recent lowest of 182.2 as of Dec 1, 2009. I use the mantra "one foot in front of the other" to remind myself that this is a process. It will take another few weeks before I got from "obese" to "overweight" and another few months before I go from "overweight" to "normal weight". Intellectually I understand, but there is a part of me that awakens from time to time that is obsessive and wants to go from here to there overnight.
Recently when this happens, I intentional take a rest day, opposed to amping up my workouts, to remind myself to slow down.
I like the effects that intermittent fasting (IF) is having. I am enjoying my morning workouts. I am actually enjoying the process this time around, things seem right. I just need to remember to be patient. Its the bigger picture. I don't need to lost 2-4 lbs a week. This is a lifestyle change.
I need to shift from an obsessive state of mind to a lifestyle state of mind.
First. Things are getting back on track with Jay and me. The stuff going on with my grandpa, CASB, and work does not help with my mood or state of mind, but things are coming along with us.
Second. I am starting to get obsessive. This is what tends to happen whenever I revamp my weight loss - typical "too much of a good thing syndrome". For the past 7 weeks, my working out, my eating healthy, etc have been good. I am noticing increased muscle tone, weight loss, and inch loss. But I arrived, as I have in the past, a point of where things going well are not good enough. I want to reach the end now. I want to achieve a new weight loss low. For example, although I am pleased to be 193.8 lbs, as of Tuesday, I am still slightly frustrated that I am heavier that my recent lowest of 182.2 as of Dec 1, 2009. I use the mantra "one foot in front of the other" to remind myself that this is a process. It will take another few weeks before I got from "obese" to "overweight" and another few months before I go from "overweight" to "normal weight". Intellectually I understand, but there is a part of me that awakens from time to time that is obsessive and wants to go from here to there overnight.
Recently when this happens, I intentional take a rest day, opposed to amping up my workouts, to remind myself to slow down.
I like the effects that intermittent fasting (IF) is having. I am enjoying my morning workouts. I am actually enjoying the process this time around, things seem right. I just need to remember to be patient. Its the bigger picture. I don't need to lost 2-4 lbs a week. This is a lifestyle change.
I need to shift from an obsessive state of mind to a lifestyle state of mind.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A hesitation
I feel like I am waiting. I am aware that I have needy tendencies and that desire lots of affection in my life. I know. I have expressed that Jay, especially after our "discussion" "disagreement" whatever it was, that I need to be reassured about his feelings towards us and me.
I like him, I enjoy being with him, but right now. In this second, I would say there is a hesitation in our future. I cannot instantly create a daydream of what our lives together could be. There is a hesitation, a question - is there a future?
It is hard to tell how much doubt and how much truth is in this hesitation. I no longer feel like I am on steady ground.
I like him, I enjoy being with him, but right now. In this second, I would say there is a hesitation in our future. I cannot instantly create a daydream of what our lives together could be. There is a hesitation, a question - is there a future?
It is hard to tell how much doubt and how much truth is in this hesitation. I no longer feel like I am on steady ground.
Monday, August 23, 2010
No phone
There is a guy. For the sake of the blog, names will be changed. So, there is this guy, Jay, and we've been dating for 19 weeks.
Last night, at his place, we had a misunderstanding. I would not call it a fight, but we each had explaining to do to the other person. On top of our misunderstanding (details to come later) my grandpa's sick so my emotions have been cycling between happy and sad on a continuous basis for the past few days. That did not help.
When I left this morning for the gym, although we resolved things, I still felt like things were left slightly undone. Like I ironed my shirt, ironed my pants, put everything on but still had not buttoned the cuffs - just a little bit left to do.
What is heightening this feeling of things being undone, is my phone is practically dead. And I text. We text. We text each other a lot, on top of talking to each other everyday. And now I have no contact with him. I mean I could call him from my office phone, but I feel like I just want to be connected with him, but what I have to say does not warrant a phone call. You know that balance between the point where you would text someone but not call him/her - that is where I am.
Part of me wants to see him tonight to a) just to see him and b) to finish things from yesterday. But right now, my free time is not my own. I have CASB (Chartered Accountant School of Business) to work on tonight. That means I have an assignment to complete due Thursday night. The responsible thing is to go home and work on my assignment but I am thinking if I leave things for another day, will it be okay? Am I just being obsessive? I know I over analyze things, but part of me feels uncertain.
Argh. There is nothing I can do until I get home and charge my phone (unless I want to pick up the phone). We'll see.
Last night, at his place, we had a misunderstanding. I would not call it a fight, but we each had explaining to do to the other person. On top of our misunderstanding (details to come later) my grandpa's sick so my emotions have been cycling between happy and sad on a continuous basis for the past few days. That did not help.
When I left this morning for the gym, although we resolved things, I still felt like things were left slightly undone. Like I ironed my shirt, ironed my pants, put everything on but still had not buttoned the cuffs - just a little bit left to do.
What is heightening this feeling of things being undone, is my phone is practically dead. And I text. We text. We text each other a lot, on top of talking to each other everyday. And now I have no contact with him. I mean I could call him from my office phone, but I feel like I just want to be connected with him, but what I have to say does not warrant a phone call. You know that balance between the point where you would text someone but not call him/her - that is where I am.
Part of me wants to see him tonight to a) just to see him and b) to finish things from yesterday. But right now, my free time is not my own. I have CASB (Chartered Accountant School of Business) to work on tonight. That means I have an assignment to complete due Thursday night. The responsible thing is to go home and work on my assignment but I am thinking if I leave things for another day, will it be okay? Am I just being obsessive? I know I over analyze things, but part of me feels uncertain.
Argh. There is nothing I can do until I get home and charge my phone (unless I want to pick up the phone). We'll see.
The beginning
I decided, yesterday, that I want to be a writer. Not just write, but to BE a writer (on top of my day job).
So I figured I would learn through trial and error on a blog. For now this will just be my life and it might morph into other things. But the man topics this will involve are the following:
-work, I am a CA student
-healthy eating, you know you should
-working out, you know you should
-relationships, yes I actually am in one
-CASB, the stress that relates to my work (don't worry, you will find out soon).
-randomness that is me.
I am taking a brain break at work. I am "filling in the blanks" for a work related letter. We are telling our office in Central America "this is what we want you to do" and I am the lucky person that gets to change "the Company" to the actual company's name. I know, hard work eh? Well, since I should actually be billing my time (and not writing) back to work.
So I figured I would learn through trial and error on a blog. For now this will just be my life and it might morph into other things. But the man topics this will involve are the following:
-work, I am a CA student
-healthy eating, you know you should
-working out, you know you should
-relationships, yes I actually am in one
-CASB, the stress that relates to my work (don't worry, you will find out soon).
-randomness that is me.
I am taking a brain break at work. I am "filling in the blanks" for a work related letter. We are telling our office in Central America "this is what we want you to do" and I am the lucky person that gets to change "the Company" to the actual company's name. I know, hard work eh? Well, since I should actually be billing my time (and not writing) back to work.
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